Sweet 16!?!?

I need help from all of you with girls older than 16 or know anyone with a girl older than 16!!

Lauren will be 16 on June 3.  We want to do something nice for her.  But what she wants is over the top (in my mind).  She wants to have a dance with like 50 people.  Which means hiring a DJ, a place to have it, a caterer, etc.  I think this is extravagant and not realistic.  Realistic to me is picking out 10-15 of her closest girl friends and working with that…maybe spend the weekend at the lake, have a campout in the front yard, something.  A dance with 50 people is called a wedding reception not a 16th birthday party.

Kevin thinks that we should.  He feels that she deserves it.  Lauren & Austin’s mother didn’t have birthday partys for the kids.  She told them they could have a party on even years and then would change her mind when it came down to it. 

On top of all this her presents aren’t going to be all that cheap either…and some are essential.  I can’t go into details because Lauren reads my blog but trust me…essential.  Financially I don’t think we can afford it either.  I have missed a lot of work with my female organs hating me and that doesn’t look to change.

I know this stupid MTV show is what makes her think it is necessary to have one!  I talked to my mother in law and she agrees with me.  She doesn’t think this is realistic and we can plan something more down to earth that can still be fun.  But I don’t know what to do.  One of the things Kevin and I talked about was how much we hated our wedding because it was all my mother’s doing.  I don’t want to do that to any event in my kids’ life.  But when we ask her what she wants it’s huge.  I dread this girls future wedding.  Maybe she will just stay single or elope!! 

So my question to all of you wonderful bloggy folks is:  What kind of party did the 16 year old in your life have for their 16th birthday?  What seems to be the norm in 16th birthdays??  Anyone know of any websites with ideas to have a good sweet 16 on a very limited budget?

I know that her friends haven’t had extravagant parties because she would have attended at least one by now.  The girl is the “baby” in her class so we would have seen an invitation to something. 

Please, please help.  I need to know what happens in the real world.

Wrap my mind around it….

This post is mainly to help me to figure out what the heck to do.  My cyst is ticking me off.  I hate this.  I have that stupid hysterectomy to stop the pain and now I’m enduring more pain.  WTF!!!

I did a little blog digging.  I love blogging cuz it tracks dates for me…lol. 

Nov 15… doc thought I had a cyst and ordered an ultrasound
Nov 27…. found a cyst on right ovary but pain was on the left
Feb 8 … hysterectomy
Apr 8…. reannounces cyst on right ovary.  says that it is common for an organ to transfer pain to a different organ…nice.  So did this mean I had a hysterectomy for nothing!!!  I’m actually glad I had it done but still…makes ya wonder
May 4….here comes the pain again
Today…still in massive pain

I did a little digging on ovarian cysts and found a little bit of info.

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/ovarian_cysts.htm

How are cysts treated?

Watchful waiting. The patient waits and gets re-examined in one to three months to see if the cyst has changed in size. This is a common treatment option for women who are in their childbearing years, have no symptoms, and have a fluid-filled cyst. It also might be an option for postmenopausal women. (so does that mean I should call the doc now or wait till July!?)

Surgery. If the cyst doesn’t go away after several menstrual periods (don’t get these), has gotten larger (how do I know this?), looks unusual on the ultrasound (even cysts have a “normal!”), causes pain (duh…have been for months now!!!), or you’re postmenopausal, the doctor may want to remove it (or not). There are two main surgical procedures:

• Laparoscopy—if the cyst is small and looks benign on the ultrasound, your doctor may perform a laparoscopy. This procedure is done under general anesthesia. A very small incision is made above or below the navel, and a small instrument that acts like a telescope is inserted into the abdomen. If the cyst is small and looks benign, it can be removed.
• Laparotomy—if the cyst is large and looks suspicious, the doctor may perform a procedure called a laparotomy. This procedure involves making bigger incisions in the stomach to remove the cyst. While you are under general anesthesia, the doctor is able to have the cyst tested to find out if the tissue is cancerous. If it is cancerous, the doctor may need to remove the ovary and other tissues that may be affected, like the uterus or lymph nodes. (think they could suck out some extra fat while they do this :lol

Birth control pills. If you frequently develop cysts, your doctor may prescribe birth control pills to prevent you from ovulating (not ovulating as it is). This will lower the chances of forming new cysts.

So what if I go back and see the doc, and she wants to take out my ovary.  I can’t do it this month–too many appointments.  I can’t do it in June–Laurens 16th bday and prepping for baby bros wedding.  I can’t do it in July–baby bros wedding, my anniversary (not that we get to do anything), and a family friend is visiting from Texas for 2 weeks..  I can’t do it in August to May 09–college classes and holidays.  So I guess I have no other choice but to suck it up, miss work for a week or two every month, and pray that God will intervene.

Dx-Day

For my past FX Memories please click this sentence.

 I’m not exactly sure how long the test took that they took on Matthew.  I wasn’t anxiously watching the calendar and counting days because I didn’t think they would find anything. 

The pediatrician called me on February 12, 1997 and scheduled an appointment with me on Valentine’s Day.  I called Matt’s dad and told him what was going on.  I was shocked that he offered to drive me. 

I was never once concerned that anything was found.  I figured we would go into the doctor and we would discuss what we would do next. 

We had an afternoon appointment.  Matt’s dad was right on time.  At least he was good at that.  I was still ridiculously naive and thought our relationship had hope.  I handed him his Valentine’s Day present.  After he buckled Matt into the car he tossed in on the backseat floor.  It was like a knife slowly inching through my heart. 

When we arrived at the doctors office we were ushered to his office.  This was when I started to get nervous.  To not help matters any, Matt’s dad grabbed my hand and held it the whole time.  Aaaahhh!!  Do you want us or not!!

I sat down in the farthest chair in the room, which was close to the window.  Matt’s dad sat Matt’s carseat between our chairs and sat down close to the door. 

Dr. H started with the hearing test.  It came out perfect. 

Next up was the vision test.  It showed that his eyes were underdeveloped.  He said that in time they could catch up or not.  Only time would tell.

After that was the MRI.  Matty had a small amount of fluid or tissue depressing his brain slightly in the front.  The doc wasn’t real worried about it because it was actually common in babies.  It will usually dissipate in time.  Once again…time would tell.

He left the worst for last.  He laid out the copies of Matt’s chromosome test.  It was cool to see my babies 23 pairs of chromosomes.  They looked perfect.  But I learned that they weren’t.  Dr. H told us that he has fragile X syndrome.  His X chromosome, which I gave him, showed that it was slightly unraveled. 

Fragile X was something I had never heard of.  I had no idea what it meant.  Was it curable?  Could it be fixed with medication?  Did it last forever?

All I remember him saying was that it caused mental retardation, it was genetic and from me. 

He went on after that but I shut down.  I heard nothing.  My mind was going a hundred miles an hour.  My entire life had changed in just one sentence.  I no longer knew what kind of plans to make for my future because I didn’t know what my future would hold.  I had no clue what to picture in my future.  I was trying to wrap my mind around it but I was in shock. 

I saw Matt’s dad stand up and shake the doctors hand.  I realized that the doctor was done.  I tried to refocus on his words but all I caught was that if I had questions to give him a call.  I was thankful that Matt’s dad had the baby because I wouldn’t have been able to carry him to the car.  I was even more thankful that he was driving.  Not that I could then.  I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 20 (long story). 

I didn’t talk to him for the 30 minute drive.  I was still in shock.  My perfect little boy could be mentally retarded.  I didn’t even know that saying retarded wasn’t socially accepted anymore.  When we pulled into the parking lot of my apartment I reached back to give Matty back his binky.  I saw the present I had given Matt’s dad laying on the floor and my heart successfully ripped in two. 

His dad didn’t come inside with me.  He put Matty and his carseat on the landing.  He very softly touched my hand and left.  I carried Matty the rest of the way into my apartment.  He was sound asleep.  He always fell asleep on car rides.  I gently lifted him out of his carseat, held him, and cried until no more tears would come.