Happy Fathers Day!!!

Here are some jokes for ya

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In 1900, a father’s horsepower meant his horses.

Today, it’s the size of his minivan.

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The Outhouse

These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round and returned home an hour later from a completely different direction thus, trying to divert suspicion from themselves.

Upon returning, their father approached them with switch in hand and bellowed, “Did you two push the outhouse over this afternoon?”

The older boy replied, “As learned in school, I cannot tell a lie. Yes, Father, we pushed over the outhouse this afternoon.”

At this revelation, the farmer proceeded to flail the two boys severely and sent them to bed without supper.

In the morning, the two boys meekly approached the breakfast table and took their seats. Everything was quiet until their father finally said, “Have you two learned your lesson?”

“Sure, Dad!” said the big brother, “But, in school we learned that George Washington admitted to HIS father that he’d chopped down a cherry tree and he was forgiven because he told the truth.”

“Ah yes!’ said the farmer, “BUT, George’s DAD, wasn’t in the cherry tree when he chopped it down!!!”

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Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

“I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” said the beaming boy to his ol’ man.

“Nope,” came dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you’ve been doing to me for sixteen years.”

 

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Judian: Dad, Heres your Father’s day present
Dad: Thank you, dear. Come, sit down.
Dad ( opening present) : Isn’t this the same racket you got for pomp night last year?
Judian: Yup. You taught us to recycle and save .

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After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.

Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.

His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy’s ear. Sammy was delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, “Do it again, Dad!” 

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Letters between son and dad
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on

The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Dad