Smack

Smack is what God did to my forehead today.  Nothin is better for anger and disappointment than a distraction.  The best distraction for a mother is a puking child.  And if one child isn’t enough heap on two more sick kids and a sick husband.

I got a call from Rachel’s summer program that she was throwing up.  They didn’t know if she was genuinely sick or if the heat got her.  From June to August our daily temperatures range from 95 to 105 degrees F. They tried calling my mom to come and get her but she left for Mexico today.  My mother in law wasn’t near her phone.  I think they were going to Arizona to pick up my nieces. 

So I had to leave work and get her.  Then I had to stay home with her because Lauren was feeling pukey.  Austin was tired and said his tummy hurt.  Then Kevin called me to let me know that he was feeling miserable and was heading home. 

All I have to say is that I better not get it.  But it did distract me.  Thankfully  

Angry

I am so angry about this upcoming surgery.  You have no idea how mad I am.  I don’t fault anyone.  Everyone involved were only doing what was best.  There was sincere thought and concern into every move that has been made to curb my pain.  I’m angry at the unfairness of it all.  It’s unfair not only to me but my family and my coworkers.  It is going to kill us financially.  We are barely hanging on now as it is. 

We brought the kids in last night and had a family meeting.  We explained to them that money is really tight and why.  We wanted them to know that they played a huge part in it.  They need to take it easy on food, turn off things when not in use, etc.  Austin felt so bad he tried to give back his pet snake.  He is such a sweet boy.  Kevin explained to him that the snake is pretty much paid for.  The mouse to feed it is only a $1 a week.  We can afford to feed the snake…lol.

I know that we will get through.  God always helps us through these situations.  I know he will be standing beside us every step of the way.  That still doesn’t help the anger though.  I know being so angry is horrible on my body and I need to be as healthy as I can be for this thing.  So I’m trying to deal with it but it doesn’t want to dissipate.  Hopefully it’ll go away soon. Prayerfully.