Relief

I got a call from the hospital late this morning.  The nurses in the OR were checking up on me.  After lunch my doctors nurse called to check on me too.  The poor nurse has seen me soo much the past couple of years.  I think she was just as emotionally involved in this as well.  We talked for about five minutes about my latest surgery.  I felt really good talking to her.  She was in awe of how bad my ovaries looked.  Her exact words were, “I looked at your photos and it appears that they were begging to come out.” 

Everything that I have dealt with and fought for was justified in that one sentence.  There were times I though I was crazy.  There were times that I worried that I was a hypochondriac like my great-grandmother and my grandfather were.  I would feel so guilty when I couldn’t make it to work or have to bail on an activity with my children.  Only a small amount of my tears were for the pain.  The rest was for the disappointment in me, that I felt everyone else must be feeling. 

I was terrified that I would enter this surgery and it would be like the past two.  The doc would look around, test tissue, etc. and never find anything that could be wrong.  I started questioning what my quality of life would be if they didn’t find anything wrong and it didn’t fix the pain.  Let me tell you….it wasn’t looking too hot. 

But my prayers were answered, as well as all of the prayers that my bloggy friends sent up to our wonderful Father.    There was a problem.  A huge problem.  And this time they saw it too.  My pain was 100% justified.  There is proof.  There are photos.  And now the problem is gone.  I should be able to heal and have a wonderful quality of life again.  I will be able to help my baby girl with soccer.  I’ll be able to help coach Matty with his special olympics.  Lots and lots of stuff is now open to me.  It is like the jail cell door opened and I got a “Get out of Jail Free” card.

It is the best relief that I could ever get.