Trusting Our Parenting

One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to trust that we parented our children properly as they navigate the real world.  On top of that insecurity is the fact that Kevin and I have only really parented Austin & Lauren for a little over a year.  There was a lot of negative influence before the court granted us custody.

So this week I’ve really struggled, and I think Kevin has too, with letting Lauren navigate life on her own and utilizing our authority over her as she is crushing on a new guy who we will call Corey for the sake of the blog. 

The reason this guy is such a worry is because during parent-teacher conferences on Monday Lauren’s Algebra teachers warned us about this boy.  They didn’t get into specifics but they did say that he had a bad reputation around the school campus.  They seemed so concerned that they were implementing a new seating chart since Corey & Lauren sit right next to each other in class.  Though they said that it would begin yesterday but the class was told it would begin next week.  In my mind, I wonder if it as bothersome as they made it out to be on Monday if they will continue to have them sitting together until next week.

Now Lauren is 16.  This isn’t her first crush.  This won’t even be her first boyfriend if it gets to that point.  She is now at the age that she can go out on dates according to our rules.  But there are guidelines and we have to feel comfortable with this boy before we let her out on the town with him.  Corey is already starting at the bottom of the barrel. 

We want to trust that we have taught Lauren enough that she can navigate through all the gray areas involved in dating.  Our worry is that she is far more innocent than she realizes and teens are notorious for finding themselves in situations where they aren’t sure what to do.  Kevin and I know that she has no problem coming to us in those times but out on a date with a boy who is known to be a player creates sudden, on the spot, decision making. 

I know that she is a very smart, mature young woman but I’m so worried about her.  As a victim of sexual violence, that is my biggest fear for her.  I may not have birthed her or raised her through her early years but I love her just as much as if I had.  And I’m terrified that this boy is going to hurt her in some way.  At the same time I know that she has to experience things in order to learn about them before she turns 18 and the whole big ol’ world is all hers to navigate on her own.

So Kevin and I are baby-stepping through another love interest of Laurens.  We stress, worry, and pray that we have taught her enough to wade through these murky waters and keep herself safe.  One more thing we must take one day at a time.