Girls Day

Us girls had a very rare treat yesterday.  A girls day!! 

I had to work the morning but I had the afternoon off to go do my pre-op appointment.  Since Matty was still with his paternal grandparents I asked Lauren and Rachel if they wanted to tag along.  The town where my surgery is held is a huge tourist town.  So summer is a great time to just go hang out.  Plus it was cloudy and sprinkly so the weather was beautiful.

We did my preop first.  The girls were very supportive until the nurse went to draw blood.  Lauren even traded places with Rachel because she could be close to me

Once that was over with we went and had lunch at Subway.  Kevin is not extremely fond of Subway so it is a treat to get to go.  For an extra treat I bought each of us a chocolate chip cookie for when we were done.  It would be a sin to eat all healthy all the time

We worked off that cookie though.  We spent the next 2 hours cruising up and down Main Street.  We checked out the different shops.  Lauren was excited to actually enter a lingerie store and no boys were making gagging noises or giggly sounds behind her.  We raided the chocolate factory and got a free sample.  We checked out a museum.  The girls bought themselves matching mood rings.

Towards the end of the window shopping our feet were really starting to ache and blister.  None of us brought tennis shoes.  We were all in sandles and flip flops.  We decided it was time to go to the park and walk in the cool grass barefoot.

We headed down there.  Rachel was all excited to play on the play ground equipment.  The park sits on a river.  The water seemed much more appealing than the grass.  So the three of us headed down to the water.  The water was freezing cold.  It not only soothed, it numbed.  The girls loved it though.  Before we left they were standing in it and wiggling their toes in the silky soft mud. 

By then it was 5 p.m. and we figured we better head home.  Home was an hour away.  It was also starting to do a little more than sprinkle. 

When Kevin got home, Lauren exclaimed, “Daddy, I had an awesome afternoon.”

bon anniversaire de mariage

Today is Kevin and I’s 2nd anniversary.  We don’t get to do anything special this year like a trip or fancy presents but I have something romantical planned…and no it’s not like that

Another kiddo

We gained a child this weekend.  He will be here for two weeks.  I don’t have a blog name for him yet.  I need to have him pick one out.  Though Austin may get mad cuz I picked his out for him.  Oh well. 

Our new kid will be here for two weeks.  He is Kevin’s stepson from his second marriage.  Kevin raised him since birth so Kevin is “dad” to him.  He is 12 but will be 13 next month.

Austin is pretty stoked to have him here because he has a partner in crime.  They already converted the living room into a massive fort which they had to take down this morning.  We couldn’t get to the dogs kennels to let them outside. 

Today the boys are at Grandma J’s helping her with yard work.  She was very excited to see our new addition.  It has been two years since we’ve been able to get him up here.  I don’t think we will have such a huge gap in the future.  Everyone just misses him way to much.  And he is growing like a weed!!

Steak

Matty:  Watcha doin?

Kevin:  Opening the steaks.

Matty:  Steak!?

Kevin:  Yep

Matty:  I like steak.

Kevin:  Do ya?

Matty:  Steak is goooood.

Kevin:  I’m putting them in a marinade.

Matty:  Mmmmmm.

Kevin:  We’ll have them tomorrow for dinner.

Matty:  Oh.  Wonder what Mom is doing?

Then he skipped off down the hall.  Poor Kevin learned that all he was good for was steak.

Kudos

I got some very unexpected kudos yesterday.  My supervisor was asking me something about fragile x.  Here’s the convo.

Supervisor:   With all your medical knowledge you should be a doctor.

Beth:  No way.  I know how my kids work and that is about it.  The internal stuff…nope.  That is what real doctors are for.

Intern:  Oh don’t be modest.  My mother has her masters and she says that you are a 100 times smarter than she is.

I was a little taken aback.  The interns mom had been Matty’s kindergarten and first grade teacher.  I had her demoted.  The class was too much for her.  It was taking a ton out of her.  In turn, the children were suffering.  I was done when she sent me a note saying that she had to drag Matt to the changing table. 

She confided in me about a month before her last semester was over in the class.  She was grateful to be moving to a different room.  The room had been way too much.  She didn’t know what she had signed up for until the first day of class.  She said that she had walked in and almost cried.  There were two autistic children, a few downs syndrome boys, and one boy in a wheelchair.  She had no idea this is what her job was going to be.  It was the toughest job she had had in her entire life and she was glad to be done.

I sat down last night and pondered why this woman would say that about me.  This woman comes from a heap of money.  She has never had to struggle like I had.  Yeah, she deals with everyday life stuff but that is it.  When most people grow up at 18 to 25, I grew up extremely too fast at 15.  I had to use the instincts that God instilled in all of us just to make it through the day.  Luckily, I was blessed with the gift of resiliency and a strong will to live.  I know that if it wasn’t for that, I would not have survived that horrible time in my life. 

When Matty appeared a year after I stopped being a ward of the state, instinct took over again.  I had no basis for good parenting so I rolled with it.  I went in search of answers.  I’m like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.  I would have analyzed how to hang myself too.  :lol: 

The same has been true every step of the way with Matt’s diagnosis and every other trial.  I learn from each and everything I do.  I don’t think it makes me smarter.  It just makes me a survivor.

Rachel’s Good Day!!

Rachel had a kick butt kind of day!!

Counseling

Both girls had counseling today.  Rachel went first.  She has been having a hard time with Lauren.  Lauren has been having a hard time letting go of the perfection her bio mom expected of her children.  Lauren was expecting everyone and everything around her to be perfect just like it had to be in her old home.  There if it wasn’t perfect the kids would be subject to emotional and physical abuse. 

We all know that autistic and fragile x kids are far from perfection.  To me that is part of their joy.  To Lauren that is part of her stress.  She worries that if Rachel doesn’t do her chores just right I will yell at her instead of Rachel.  Or she thinks she will have to serve as her buffer.  So she is always on Rachel’s case to get things don’t just right.  That causes a lot of anxiety for Rachel and the rest of our home.

Rachel had counseling first.  The counselor pulled in Lauren for the session.  I didn’t go in because I would like the girls to work on this together as a team so I don’t know what all was talked about.  But the counselor created a new rule for the girls.  Every time Lauren starts yelling at her, Rachel has to give her a hug. 

Next up, Lauren had her session with a different counselor.  This counselor doesn’t know anything about the situation with Lauren and Rachel.  So I had to laugh when the counselor brought up her need for perfection.  He told Lauren that from now on when she yells at Rachel she has to pay Rachel a quarter.  He then pulled Rachel into the session to let her know.  Rachel’s face just totally lit up and she giggled for a good 20 minutes.  The counselor also gave Lauren five quarters to hopefully get her home

Soccer

A couple of hours after we got home, Rachel’s soccer coach called me.  There is a soccer clinic next week in the city.  It is with a major national coach who has gotten all kinds of awards for his instruction.  Rachel’s coach is going to pay for her to go and she is going to transport her there and back!!

Rachel is dancing on cloud nine.  She is so stoked it’s not even funny.  I so should have filmed it when I told her.  It was priceless.  The camp is for kids 9-14 so age wise she is just getting in.  The coach is also paying for the top player on Rachel’s team and the top boy player on her boys’ team.  So this isn’t something she is just tossing out there.  Rachel is a weak player but the coach is impressed with her desire to learn and the fact that she gives 110% to the sport and she doesn’t want her to miss out on this amazing opportunity.

After the fiasco last fall that we had with her old team, this just feels so amazing.  We have come 180 degrees on this. 

Travel and Wedding Shots

We have to chuckle at this hill every time we see it

Newly married and beaming.  Seth is sooo in love with her.  He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.  And she was just hoping to get off that knee soon…lol

Nothing is better suited for toting a gigantic bridal party than this!

Table arrangements

Bridal Table

Wedding Cake right after the bride and groom cut it

My uncle and brother getting down during the dollar dance!