Clive Ellingson Walker was born February 19 at 10:20 a.m. He was 6 lbs 13 oz & 20 inches long. Clive is after C.S. Lewis. Ellingson is a family name.
This is actually titled First Born but I can’t conform . Tiffany tagged me from Wright Writes.
Disclaimer: This says “first pregnancy” but my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. So I’m going to go with my second pregnancy.
1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? no
2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? no
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? scared and excited
4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? no way
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 18
6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I had passed out in the shower. I had to go to the hospital for stitches in my lip. I had bit right through it. I told them when my last period was and they decided to run a pregnancy test because it had been a few months.
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? My mom during a very heated argument. She thought I was lying. Typical.
8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes
9. DUE DATE? 1st due date: April 22, 1996 2nd due date: March 22, 1996
10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? oh yeah
11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? pretzels and ice cream sandwiches
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? I was pretty happy
13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD’S SEX? boy
14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? yeah…sorry son…I didn’t know what to do with a baby but I figured if I was having one make it something close to me…lol
15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT YOUR PREGNANCY? 3lbs. The reason was because I was a hefty 127lbs (hefty for my frame). I started exercising and eating healthy when I found out I was pregnant. So by the time he was born I only weighed 130 lbs. (Don’t be jealous…that is what I weigh now a days)
16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yep
17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew…I’m not a fan of surprises
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Yeah. Around 3 months or so I started bleeding a little. Then he was overdue.
19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? In a hospital, on the 5th floor, in a delivery room
20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? Not many. I think I realized I had contractions around 6 p.m. They were never consistent. We decided to go to the hospital, just in case, around 10:30. We lived 45 minutes from the hospital. He was born at 12:11 a.m.
21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? My mom
22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? My mom, baby’s dad, the doctor and 2 nurses
23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? 100% all natural
24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? I wanted to but I didn’t get to. By the time we got to the hospital I was dialated to 9 cm. It was too late for drugs. Thank the good Lord it was a very easy delivery.
25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 6lbs 7oz
26. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? May 3, 1996 yep…that’s right 6 weeks after the original due date. He wound up being quite overdue. Don’t change due dates doctors!! If the baby is small…it could just be small!
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? I can’t tell you but it’s a very cute French name
Hmm…who to tag now. Let’s do the wonderful mommasita’s at these blogs:
If you ladies decide to play please put a link to your answers so I can find them
I’m feeling pretty stinkin icky today. I’ve never had an upper respiratory infection before. Colds, influenza, done that. But this is not fun. This is worse. Lots and lots worse.
I tried to update on Rachel’s IEP and her dentist appointment but I can’t think all that well.
Lack of air to lungs = lack of air to brain = Stupid Beth.
And I’m working Maybe they should fix my sick leave and I wouldn’t have to be here to share my germs or wreck my job. Unfortunately for me, they are still happy to see me.
Speaking of germs I was surfing the net, avoiding some new accounts staring at the back of my head, when I found this little quiz. I knew it all along. Work and blogging are making me sick. But I won’t be quitting either!!
How Many Germs Live On Your Keyboard?
Studies have shown that your keyboard and mouse are some of the most germ-ridden devices you own, surpassing even doorknobs and toilet seats.
Take this short quiz to see how many germs lovingly call your keyboard home.
Posting the pictures of Edward got me to thinking about why in the world I would want another baby when I’m raising four kids already. Two teens and two fragile x preteens are a handful. They are a joy but they definitely keep us hopping.
One of the biggest reasons is because I never had a choice in creating my children. I never got to plan out having a baby with the man I loved and excitedly tell my parents about it. Part of being a fragile x carrier is being a little bit more fertile than the rest of the female population. So both of my babies were total accidents, at the end of relationships, while I was on birth control. Rachel was conceived using two forms!! With Matty I loved his father but he didn’t love me. With Rachel, I had just left the relationship because I had learned my ex was a convicted sex offender. It was bad enough that my father was a sex offender! I darn sure wasn’t going to marry one.
No one was happy when I told them I was pregnant. Both times I was fighting with my adopted mom when it just spilled out. The second time my dad actually asked if I was like a black widow….using men to make babies and then kicking them to the curb. I wasn’t even happy when I got pregnant with Rachel. I was still trying to accept the fact that all my babies had a 50/50 chance of being born with fragile x.
So I made the decision when I got my positive pregnancy test with Rachel to get my tubes cut and cauterized. After having her, my OB-GYN told me that it was a good decision because I was at risk of dying or losing my baby if I went through another pregnancy. Part of me also decided to do it because of those horrible words my adopted dad had said. I honestly was too young to really know what I needed and wanted. I was 21 and everyone else made it sound like I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to make everyone else happy and do what was “right.”
I know it’s not a reality because I had a hysterectomy and I would have never gone through reversing a tubal. But I wish just one time I could have planned a baby with the man I was totally, madly in love with. I wish just once my family would have been stoked about my pregnancy and supported me throughout it. I wish I could have had a baby shower out of fun and not necessity. My guest would smile in joy and not force their joy. I wish I would have had my child with the man that I love holding my hand and comforting me and enjoying the moment that the birth occurred.
None of those things will ever happen. They are literally just wishes. And that breaks my heart in a million pieces.
I know so many people in this world are dying for just one child and I have been blessed with two I birthed and my husband’s two. My adopted mom couldn’t bear children at all and I heard her voice her anguish many times. It’s not the same kind of hurt that my heart is heavy. It’s like going to Disney Land and only being able to ride the golf cart in the parking lot with Goofy. You get to go and look around but you missed out on the full, natural experience.
My favorite cousin in the world had her first (and she swears only) child on April 2nd. He was born at 5:45 p.m. after a very difficult labor that ended with an emergency C-section. Hence, the only one child theory. He weighed in at 8 lbs 4 0z and he was 20 1/2 inches long.
Kevin and I took the girls over to meet him on Saturday. He is 3 days old in these pics.
I want one now. My husband thinks I need my head examined. He could be right.
You can view the past FX Memories here.
Since I was a single teen mom with no family who was real knowledgeable in babies, I educated myself on what babies were all about. I read all the books. I read the magazines. The hospital had given me one magazine that outlined each month and what happened in the babies development. It was my Bible that first year.
When Matty was six months old he still did not roll from side to side. Everything I read said that he should have reached that milestone. At his 6 month checkup I asked about it. The doctor told me that boys were typically slower than girls and that he would reach it in time. I felt a little comforted but I was still concerned.
A couple of weeks later I had Matty laying on my lap and I was talking to him. He looked straight at me. I looked deep into his eyes and saw nothing. His stare was completely vacant. He was off somewhere else. He wasn’t looking past me or through me. He was just not there. I knew then that something was not right with this child. I didn’t know what it was but something was going on.
I went back and forth on if something was wrong or if it was just me. I had no baby experience so I tried to chalk it up to new mom jitters. But something was nagging at the back of my mind and I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
I voiced my thoughts to some of my family. They told me that he was fine and I was being overly concerned. One family member actually had the nerve to say that I wasn’t disciplining him enough. Um. Okay.
At Matty’s eight month check-up the doctor came in with a defeated look on his face. He told me that Matty was falling majorly behind in his weight and length. He said that he should have been rolling all over by this time and at least attempting to sit. But Matty didn’t do any of that. Matty held a gaze so he didn’t think it was autism. He had no clue what to do, what tests to run, or where to go. So he was sending us away. He would make us an appointment with a pediatrician and ask for a referral to an early interventionist to test him and possibly get him physical therapy.
Talk about feeling the ultimate rejection. I had never had a doctor quit me before!! I cried all the way home. And it was a 40 minute drive. I was devastated. My mind was all over the place at what could be wrong with my son. I was relieved to hear that he didn’t fit the autism profile because I had heard nothing good about autism. All the autism talk then was about how autistics didn’t show love and wouldn’t bond with their parents. I didn’t want to lose the one family member who had loved me unconditionally up to that point.
I went into a terribly depressive funk after that day. Over the next few months I would whittle down to 95 pounds. I spent many sleepless nights crying in my bathroom so Matty couldn’t hear me. I began cutting myself after a 3 year hiatus. I blamed myself for Matty’s problems before I even knew what Matty’s problems really were.