I have been considering a comeback to blogging for some time. I even started one here and there only to delete it. What I was asking of myself was too great. I had wanted to feel the fun and freedom of blogging like I had in the mid 2000′s. I wanted this blog and this writing. But the wife and mother on this blog has changed drastically since my last post in 2009. But “Fragile What!?” kept whispering in my ear that I could come back to this blog and continue on even with a 3.5 year gap. So, here I am trying to figure out the best way to bridge that gap. I’m thinking a timeline. It should help right!? Ok, here goes:
September 2009: My now ex-husband, Kevin, started being a real jerk about me blogging. He told me that his family reads the blog and he attempted to tell me what I could or could not say. For those who know me, never tell me what to do or what I can’t do. I will be defiant and do the exact opposite of what you say. So I quit blogging. That was tough!!
November 2009: My father-in-law passed away. It was heart wrenching to Kevin to see his dad slip off this earth. He had a very tough time with it. I am use to loss. He wasn’t. The next 7 months changed our marriage for the worst. I tried to comfort him but apparently I was not what he wanted. Angie comforted better.
May 2010: The D word is finally uttered. I wanted to do counseling first. I am no quitter. We went to one session. I could tell he really wanted to counselor to say that our marriage had no hope. Instead, the counselor said that one issue could be that I had no where to just escape. He suggested that we turn our bedroom into a safe getaway for me. Kevin didn’t like that. The counselor also explained how survivors of abuse has this deep pit inside them that when activated erupts into this whole different being. He wanted Kevin to start thinking about how child abuse fuels my behaviors. Kevin was not impressed with that either. I wasn’t given anything to think about or work on. I wasn’t too happy with that. I went in with the mindset that my issue was with helping Kevin deal with his grief After just that one session he decided that couples counseling was useless. We never went back. Not going to lie…I think my marriage could have been saved if he wanted it to be saved.
June 2010: I move out. Lauren turns 18. Divorce is filed and finalized. Angie moves in. I can’t say if Kevin and Angie had an affair. I saw some Facebook conversations between them that gave me red flags. I have no proof but Kevin sure didn’t take to long to replace me. (and yes they are still together)
August 2010: I am diagnosed with Complex PTSD.
October 2010: My best friend, Steve, and I are chatting and jokingly say that we should try dating. Our exes were jealous of our friendship. Maybe they were seeing something we didn’t see. So Steve and I begin a long distance relationship. 2, 161 miles to be exact.
March 2011: Rachel and I fly to meet Steve and his daughters. Well, I had met Steve but Rachel hadn’t met any of them before. I come home and do the craziest thing I would have never imagined myself doing. I put in a 2 month notice at work and start planning a move to be closer to Steve.
June 2011: I move to the NE part of the USA. Steve flew down to drive Matthew and I to our new home. Best trip ever!! Rachel stayed back to spend the summer with her dad. She joined us in August 2011. Longest two months EVER!
May 2012: Steve proposes!!
December 2012: Steve and I elope. <3 My family grows by 3. Steve and his two daughters, Heather and Alissa .
I think that pretty well catches us up. I hope. So here I blog again. Hopefully, consistently.