Best Deal EVER!

It’s that time of year folks! Spring Dances. My pocketbook cringes every year in fear of what our daughters are going to fall in love with. I have gotten incredibly lucky. For both of Lauren’s proms we paid out maybe $100 on each. She volunteered to be a model for a non-profit organization that was giving dresses to those who couldn’t afford one. For modeling she got to pick out her favorite dress before the event started. Well, I am thinking that some of that good sense trickled right on down to Rachel.

Rachel and a friend asked to go to the mall and try on dresses last weekend. They do this all the time for fun. So when I got a text that she had found “the one!” I was not prepared. With my heart thumping wild and crazy I texted her back, “How much?”  She didn’t reply right away. I knew it had to be bad. I was prepared to tell her that maybe we could find something cheaper at any other store than at Deb. Yeah! She was in Deb! She finally texted me back when Steve was driving over to pick them up. It was the prettiest number I had ever seen. $20. Phew!

After school yesterday we drove over, holding our breaths the whole time, that this dress was still on the clearance rack. The little turkey burger failed to tell me that she hid the dress in the store in hopes no one would see it. Imagine my surprise when she rushes over to a $100 dress rack and starts to push dresses around. That surprise was even bigger when pulls from the very back her adorable little $20 dress. I checked the price tag twice. It started out at $70, then dropped to $40 and was now $20. Sweet!!

We get to the register and our cashier started raving on what a deal we were getting. She even went as far as to say no one ever gets a deal as good we got. I knew we had scored but didn’t think it was that big of a deal. What I wasn’t aware of was that everything in the store, including sales items, were 40% off!!!  Yeah I said that. 40% off. So Rachel’s dress for her spring dance in May only cost me $13. She found a $70 dress and we paid $13. I’m still in shock!!

Hopefully, she will share her good budget sense with her step sisters. Thankfully, this year we don’t have to do a spring dance dress for Heather since this year she will be with her mom the week of the dance. But if it was ours to buy, I was going to send Rachel with her to find one first!!

And…drum roll please….the dress (but add spaghetti straps and take away the bow). It hits Rachel right at her knee. She already has shoes to go with it and I’m her hair dresser. She is going to be gorgeous.

Thinking About Making a Comeback

I have been considering a comeback to blogging for some time. I even started one here and there only to delete it. What I was asking of myself was too great. I had wanted to feel the fun and freedom of blogging like I had in the mid 2000′s.  I wanted this blog and this writing. But the wife and mother on this blog has changed drastically since my last post in 2009.  But “Fragile What!?” kept whispering in my ear that I could come back to this blog and continue on even with a 3.5 year gap. So, here I am trying to figure out the best way to bridge that gap. I’m thinking a timeline. It should help right!? Ok, here goes:

September 2009: My now ex-husband, Kevin, started being a real jerk about me blogging. He told me that his family reads the blog and he attempted to tell me what I could or could not say. For those who know me, never tell me what to do or what I can’t do. I will be defiant and do the exact opposite of what you say. So I quit blogging. That was tough!!

November 2009: My father-in-law passed away. It was heart wrenching to Kevin to see his dad slip off this earth. He had a very tough time with it. I am use to loss. He wasn’t. The next 7 months changed our marriage for the worst. I tried to comfort him but apparently I was not what he wanted. Angie comforted better.

May 2010: The D word is finally uttered. I wanted to do counseling first. I am no quitter. We went to one session. I could tell he really wanted to counselor to say that our marriage had no hope. Instead, the counselor said that one issue could be that I had no where to just escape. He suggested that we turn our bedroom into a safe getaway for me. Kevin didn’t like that. The counselor also explained how survivors of abuse has this deep pit inside them that when activated erupts into this whole different being. He wanted Kevin to start thinking about how child abuse fuels my behaviors. Kevin was not impressed with that either. I wasn’t given anything to think about or work on. I wasn’t too happy with that. I went in with the mindset that my issue was with helping Kevin deal with his grief  After just that one session he decided that couples counseling was useless. We never went back. Not going to lie…I think my marriage could have been saved if he wanted it to be saved.

June 2010: I move out. Lauren turns 18. Divorce is filed and finalized. Angie moves in. I can’t say if Kevin and Angie had an affair. I saw some Facebook conversations between them that gave me red flags. I have no proof but Kevin sure didn’t take to long to replace me. (and yes they are still together)

August 2010: I am diagnosed with Complex PTSD.

October 2010: My best friend, Steve, and I are chatting and jokingly say that we should try dating. Our exes were jealous of our friendship. Maybe they were seeing something we didn’t see. So Steve and I begin a long distance relationship. 2, 161 miles to be exact.

March 2011: Rachel and I fly to meet Steve and his daughters. Well, I had met Steve but Rachel hadn’t met any of them before. I come home and do the craziest thing I would have never imagined myself doing. I put in a 2 month notice at work and start planning a move to be closer to Steve.

June 2011: I move to the NE part of the USA. Steve flew down to drive Matthew and I to our new home. Best trip ever!! Rachel stayed back to spend the summer with her dad. She joined us in August 2011. Longest two months EVER!

May 2012: Steve proposes!!

December 2012: Steve and I elope. <3 My family grows by 3. Steve and his two daughters, Heather and Alissa .

February 2013: I am admitted into the hospital for four days with some intestinal issue. As of today, we are still testing and trying to figure out what is going on.

I think that pretty well catches us up. I hope. So here I blog again. Hopefully, consistently.

She Won!

Little Miss Rachel actually won something and she is hopping crazy happy.  While her father took her school shopping (omg did those words actually go in that sentence…lol) he entered her in a drawing at Dillards.  There were three different ones and Rachel won one of them.  She got to pick out a free pair of jeans for school!  She is quite stoked about her fancy schmancy pants.

Don’t Upset His Routine!

As most Mondays go, this one was not in the least unusual in the amount of weirdness that went on.  And for Matthew, that was not a good thing.  His grandparents have been gone for quite a few weeks.  So this was his first weekend with them since school let out.  So it all started with him coming home (Transition #1).

Rachel was gone with her dad and won’t be home until next weekend so that threw him off a little bit too.  I mean, come on, his room was actually clean! (Transition #2)

We also had our cat corner a stray dog in our back yard.  This poor pooch has been wandering around for days.  So we shut the gate to keep him in there until the pound can pick him up.  Don’t get too sad yet.  If the owners of this dog don’t claim him then we will take the dog that Austin has dubbed as Waldo.  (Transition #3)

I then took him to the woman’s home who watches him 3 days a week.  She is an Americorps volunteer who has worked with Matty in the past.  Well, he had already had such a nutty morning he didn’t want to get out of the van.  I had to all but pull him out of it!!  I finally got him out and got him to the door when I learned that his caregiver wasn’t home.  Matty was not happy to get back in the van and head back home! (Transition #4)

Luckily, about 5 minutes away his caregiver called.  She had thought she could beat us there and hadn’t.  So we turned around and went back.  Matthew was not happy!!  He was yelling at her.  He was yelling at me.  He was asking her where she was and telling me to go to work.  He had just had it!!

This boy has his routine and if you mess it up too much he is going to let you know about it .

1:1 Time With Rachel

Rachel thrives on my attention.  It’s kind of worrisome for me because I think it is a little more intense than just needing some mom or dad time.  She wants to be around us 24/7, with full attention, pin-pointed just on her.  Well, that is obviously impossible in our home and with life in general.

But the clouds parted and the sunshine was let in on Wednesday…to Rachel anyway .  I hadn’t mentioned yet but she has a new counselor.  I really like her.  She actually was the kindergarten teacher Rachel’s bio dad and I had picked out for her.  But she was offered a position at the high school as a counselor and she had to take it. Sad day.  But they are now reunited .

I hate the commute from my house to my office so if any of the kids have an appointment I just bring them into work with me.  So Rachel got to spend almost 7 hours hanging out in my office with me.  She got dressed up like a banker should.  She had me braid her hair.  She put on a pretty purple dress.  And for when she wanted to take a nap and not feel bankerish she put on glittery blue flip flops and soccer shorts under the dress   .   At work we have a supply type room with a desk in it.  I cleaned it up for her and set her up with my laptop.  She got to hang out and play games.  My coworkers were giving her little odd jobs to make her feel like she was working.  She was putting papers in the shred bin for my supervisor and making new account folders for me.   And she did take a nap after lunch.

Then we went to her appointment.  They are working on what her worries are and how to work through them.  She was getting so obsessive over calling me when she felt a hint of anxiety, that we had to take her tracfone away.  So we decided to tackle that first.

After her appointment I took her over to Sonic to hit happy hour.  Nothing like 2 slushes for $2.01!!  She had $5.00 burning a hole in her pocket so I ran her over to Target.  I learned she was wanting a glitter water ball.  She had been wanting it “for weeks and weeks and weeks!”  .  While I was there I splurged a little and bought a really cool puzzle.  It is really 8 Disney puzzles in one box.  There are 4-100 piece, 2-300 piece and 2-500 piece.

When we got home we attacked a 100 piece puzzle right away.  It was kind of hard!    I set up my laptop on the table and we found High School Musical 3 for instant play on Netflix!!  Netflix and wireless have been the best investments to get through the summer with the kiddos .  (For my facebook buddies I put a pic of her doing the puzzle and watching the movie on my wall yesterday) We did 2 of the 100-piece puzzles.  They were not simple at all!  Which makes it funner!!

I think all together we spent like 10 straight hours together.  We had a great time.

Fired!!

I had to make one of the most heartbreaking decisions yesterday.  I fired our pediatrician.  I still get teary thinking of it.  He is an amazing doctor.  It was the office staff that caused me to fire him.  I believe in a 3 strikes you’re out rule.  I hit the 3rd strike yesterday.

The first big negative thing that happened was when I finally get health insurance for Rachel.  For some reason the insurance company is saying that there is insurance but the office wouldn’t accept it.  It’s been a 3 year struggle over $300 to pull an eraser out of her ear!!  $300 for that!  Insane!

The second thing is that this doctor is in very high demand.  He is absolutely amazing.  So he is slammed.  I tried to schedule their well child checks.  We do them together every summer.  Well, they couldn’t get them in until the middle of September.  September!!  3 months.  That does not work when Matthew needs a shot before he starts school and school starts in the middle of August!

And the 3rd strike…the most heartbreaking…they wouldn’t allow Rachel and Matty to go into the room together because Matty is over 13.  I explained to her that Matt was mentally handicapped.  We always put them in together.  He watches what the doctor does with Rachel so he knows that it is no big deal.  Then he has his turn and it goes very smoothly.  The receptionist would not budge.  She said it was a policy that was passed last year.  Children over 13 have to go in alone. 

I made the September appointments and then I sat and stewed.  The more I thought about it the more pissed off I got.  I conferred with Kevin.  He totally sided with me on it.  I knew then that I wasn’t being overemotional.  I know I can do that at times.  I called our family physician to see about transferring them over.  I was able to get them in on July 7.  And this receptionist actually ASKED ME if I wanted them to go in together!  Score!

Therefore, I’m making the transition to the family doctor earlier than I anticipated.  I do plan on writing a letter to our pediatrician saying good-bye and explaining why we switched over early.  It still makes me sad.  I have a huge history with this man.  He was the one who found the fragile x in our family.  He has been there through it all with the kids.  But it obviously is time for us to move on to different pastures. 

(And our family doctor and the pediatrican grew up together so I know they will happily swap information to help with my kiddos )

My Mini Me Transformed

My mom is a saint.  She is raising my younger cousin who is 15.  His bestest friend in the whole wide world had to move so my mom brought him up for the summer.  Travis, the visiting friend, has been dealt a really bad hand and he battles ADHD and other stuff.  Therefore, this teen hasn’t been taught many manners.

Well, Miss Rachel wanted to stay the night with her grandma.  I dropped her off before I headed to work.  At about 2:00 my mother calls me.  She was laughing so hard.  I guess Travis said something that just set Rachel off!!  This is what happened.

Travis:  “You are such a retard, Lou.”

Rachel:  “I do not like that word!!  That is a mean word.  People say that about my brother and it makes me feel bad.  He is not retarded.  And if you don’t like it you can talk to my mother!”

She was one ticked off little firecracker.  I guess Travis had thrown the R word around all morning and she had just had enough of him.  Could you imagine being 16 and being told off by a 10 year old!!  My mom told me later that Travis never said “that word” again the rest of the time that Rachel was there.

My mini-me is now my mini-advocate .

For more information on Ending the R Word go here —> R-word.org .